If It Can't Be Explained

When I experienced life
Not just tactile sensation
Everything brighter
But the disappointment great
The sleepless nights and countless regrets
Mistakes
Some things are better left unsaid
But when you have no control
It just all comes out anyway
People will leave you after all
Everyone wants something
It is so easy to be crushed by it
But there is always a fallback
That feeling again
And so it continues
So it does not end

Decrepit

What is it that makes us fear
What is yet to come
Things we know innately about ourselves
Push us too far
We see the edge creeping closer
Our feet slip
We lose strength
But I am pushing back
Without solidity to support myself
Just a thought that I hold onto
Keeps me resisting
Keeps me fighting
Fading

Winters Shade

Trying so desperately to reach out
But refusing to move an inch
Wrapped warmly in
The safe nook of my mother's abandonment
This house which is so wholly mine
Bundled in the acceptance of isolation
In the purity of silence
And the resurrection of assurance
Keeps pushing me on to stillness
Towards the depths of waters so black and undisturbed
Yet so disturbing
In the consciousness and hyper-intensity
Senses alerted
To the desensitization and apathy
To the irony