11 days

More of your clothes hang in my closet
Masquerading as my own
More reminders that somehow keep your memory fresh
The smell of you
Sleeping in your bed
The only real sleep I've had since you left
The comfort of a home that is not mine
But this morning when I heard your voice
All the desperation drained from these things
You reminded me of how soon we will be together
Again
And without end

14 days

I need focus
Need something to distract
From the past emerges so many things
Most of which I swore to leave behind
But they have come crawling back
Erupting at the opportunity
To force themselves into the gaps of where you were
And these hobbies, these destructive saviors
Are company in your wake
Are the breath that comes
Are the frenetic energy that forces me through (among...other things)
And now that you are on your way back to me
They are dying
I can hear their screeching pleas and
Feel their claws digging into habits with resistance
Good luck
Because everything falls away

Understanding

If someone took away your sight, your voice,
Or your heart
And told you that you could have them back in one month,
Would you miss them?
Would you mourn their absence?
You know they will return
But that does not ease the feeling of emptiness
That knowing does not change that a piece of you has been torn out
Your being is altered
Their justifications mottle you with rage
The explanations of how this injustice will benefit you are lacking
Irresponsible
Every day overflows with waiting
You beg for the night to come so that you may sleep into another countdown
So that the morning may bring a lesser number
And then you pray for darkness once again
Repeat the cycle
But then again
It's "only" a month

Because that statement is sooo helpful

18 days

With some delusion I thought that as time passed
Acceptance would replace the tears
That the days would be filled and I would forget
However
I was wrong
This is still a sentence that seems to be carrying out into eternity
The longest seconds that have ever ticked by
Seem to stop mid-moment to prolong this sickness
Separation
Some will think this is a test of our togetherness
However
They are wrong
It is only a pushing of my sanity
Toward the edge of something desperate
But I know you'll pull me back
When you return

Home♥

27 days

I miss the feeling of your weight on top of me
Untethered
As if I am being pulled through the cracks in the concrete
You absence fills my room with silence and
It is not a home without you
Your belongings and belonging
Keys wallet and lighter
And love
The way your subconscious lulls me to sleep when the dark brings uneasiness to my breathing
Now it is filled with wishing and hoping and a desperate desire to fast-forward through this time
It will be okay
If only because you say it will
If only because you're missing me too